


Meanwhile,

by oddlyb33



Series: Avert your eyes, my Dethentine [3]
Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M, Orgasm Denial, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:41:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29352126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddlyb33/pseuds/oddlyb33
Summary: Technically i'm overtagging this, It's more like "mentions of"/comedic effectBut anyway, summary: Serveta is horny (ofc) and Charles is a bitch (:
Relationships: Charles Foster Offdensen/Serveta Skwigelf
Series: Avert your eyes, my Dethentine [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150718
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. whatshisname

It was February 13th and Charles was suddenly making Valentine’s Day plans for Dethklok and their mothers. They really should have notified him ahead of time, instead he got a call that they were all at the airport and needed to be picked up. So while doing his normal work, he was also fielding complaints from the boys about their mothers' sudden appearance and planning a day of activities for the 14th that the boys would ultimately complain about all day. And all of this had come after more than a month of finalizing Dethklok Valentine’s Day special events and exclusive merchandise— which involved a lot of… interesting input from the boys. Insummation, he was fucking tired and teetering on _really_ fuckin’ irritated.

Finishing the last remnants of his work, he poured himself a generous brandy with a ball of ice (to make it less dehydrating) and made his way to the kitchen. He should go straight to bed with the day he had ahead of himself. But it’s not like he was going to get a proper night’s sleep anyway so he might as well enjoy the peace while it lasts and have a snack.

Except when he got to the kitchen there were lights on and Serveta Skwigelf was sitting at the kitchen table wearing one of Mordhaus’s custom red and black bathrobes drinking a bottle of DethWater: Water From The Dead Sea. They stared at each other a moment, neither of them expected people to be around (klokateers didn’t really count).

“I ah, I’m sorry to interrupt.” Charles awkwardly took a step towards the fridge, “I’ll just be a moment.”

\----

She hadn’t expected to see up and about this late let alone— What was his name? He was their butler right? Although she thought she heard one of them call him a robot or something— Anyway, he was jacketless, with no tie and his sleeves rolled up right now; and he was walking around with a drink. Serveta had never imagined the man outside of his suit before but now she was reconsidering.

“Woulds yous like to joins me for yous drink?”

“No,” he responded flatley. 

Hm. Guess the formalities are only when he's on the clock. Time to play it up.

Serveta sighed, "Is gets it. Who woulds be wanting to spends de night wit an olds lady? I don'ts even haves makes-up on." She laid her head on her hand, leaning against the table.  
He continued looking through the refrigerator.

She watched him for a moment then continued. "Buts I gets sos restsless at nights... Ams why Is awake."

He moved on to searching the freezer.

"Ams sos much easieser to falls asleeps next to anot'er persons..." He closed the freezer, having settled for a Kloklate Ice Cream Dethwich. "I'ds does almost anyt'ings fors a bits a company." She shrugged, letting the soft red robe slide off her shoulder.

He looked at her for a moment while chewing. She didn't seem to be making any dents in his armour. But after he swallowed he said, "You actually look better without make-up."

She perked up a bit. She got a response, and a compliment at that. _So I have a chance_. Maintaining her posture leaning on the table she said bashfully,"Oh, I didsn't know dey paids yous to bes so nice."

"They don't."

"Sos dis ams yous beings honest?" She lifted her head and placed her hand on her chest. "Ams flattered. Buts Is suspickious of youse words. Maybes youse could proves it to me?"

He took another bite of the sandwich. "Without make-up you look more like a person and less like a desperate has-been. If you need help sleeping we have a full medical team on call. I'm sure they could get you some pills or an acupuncture treatment if that's your preference."

She took the backhanded compliment as a cue to be more direct rather than a sign to give up. "I'ds rathers yous helps me to beds. What's ams the sayings, 'If yous wants it's dones right...'"

The man sighed and popped the last piece of sandwich in his mouth. “What exactly is it you want from me?”

Serveta stood and strutted over to him. “Whats I wants ams for youse to comes to beds wit’ me,” she pointed a finger into his chest as he looked up at her, “and fors youse to does whatsevers yous wants to mes.”  
\---  
_I should have just gone to bed. I shouldn't have poured such a large drink. I shouldn't have spoken to her at all, I should have just left the room. Why do I always have to do everything in this goddamn house?_

She sat on the counter, legs apart, while Charles fingered her. He rested his head on her chest while she ran her fingers through his hair. A bed would be better but he thought this was the most efficient use of his time. Although how this was possibly happening at all was something he didn’t care to think about. He really wasn’t thinking right now which was a rare occurrence. He was just moved based on how Serveta reacted and it was going well. She was enjoying it. He hated everything about this, he really did, but her hands running through his hair did feel good. It was... soothing.

But eventually the workaholic in him came back to consciousness, reminding him that he couldn’t be wasting time on this. Luckily, the sadist in him— the part he tried so hard to hide but often failed to— had thought up a route of escape. With his free hand he reached into his empty glass and grabbed the melting ball of ice.

  
\---  
Serveta was close. The butler guy had plunged his fingers into her and kept a steady pace, adjusting the pressure and angle every so often. He far exceeded her expectations! She’d relaxed completely, now knowing that he knew what he was doing. She was so close to orgasm. She ran her hand through his hair and—

Suddenly she cringed forward and gasped sharply, sliding off the counter and falling flush against the man. The shock from feeling ice on her back took her completely out of the moment.

“The fucks was thats!”

“I have to get back to bed, I have an early day tomorrow afterall,” he said. He picked up his glasses and turned to walk away.

“Buts wes nots done!”

“I am.”

“Youse dids’nt evens come!” _And neither did I! I was so close..._

“You’re the one who said I could do whatever I wanted.,” he called back to her. And with that he walked away and the conversation was over, leaving her fuming.

_How dare he! I have never! With everything I’ve done I have never had a man up and leave in the middle of sex! Maybe he is a robot._

“Fuckings bitch…” She grabbed her water and stormed off to her room.


	2. Sunk costs

After taking a long bath she was able to fall asleep. And after sleeping she woke up _furious_. 

_The gall! Who does that and just leaves? If it was something kinky sure whatever, but he left— and he insulted me! Calling me a desperate has-been then not even having proper sex with me… What is wrong with him? He’ll pay for it. I should ask find out what his name is so I can yell at him._

\---

Charles barely hadn’t slept well, or rather by the time he was sleeping soundly he had to wake up. And now he had to play chaperone to five adult men and their mother. At least he didn’t have to worry about Oscar Explosion and Calvert who were staying at Mordhaus for the day. Although he wasn’t entirely sure why they came. Rose had asked if the kitchen staff could make a romantic dinner for her and Oscar at least. Calvert was just, also there. Another thing for Charles to keep track of. 

First there was the 11am brunch reservation at Delain Cafe; it had taken a few favors (and a lot of cash) to get such a large reservation on such short notice on a holiday. It was a fairly easy activity, but they were all very likely to order mimosas which ran a high risk. Then they’d go to Edguy’s Winery and Mini Golf Course. It wasn’t as hard to get a reservation as the venue didn’t advertise and instead relied on word-of-mouth recommendations to get customers. But again, the alcohol posed risks. The day was to end with an afternoon tea in Igorrr Meadows. It was a large private park that thankfully was very strict on keeping it’s guests activities private. Dethklok had used it before so it was easy to reserve a pavilion and get catering staff passes. And everyone would be traveling between locations on the Dethbus— with chauffeured cars available at a moment's notice if needed.

Everything was set and really he shouldn’t need to go, he should have been able to stay at Mordhaus and do his work. But there was always a chance of plans being changed or venues losing your reservation during a busy holiday. It was easier to be present than to try and fix anything over the phone with third hand information. He gathered up his supplies and went to the rendezvous point outside the bus. Luckily, everyone was there and soon they were off. Nathan sat next to his mom with a put on scowl. While he acted as annoyed as the rest of the band, he seemed like he might actually be enjoying this. It made sense, his last few relationships either didn’t make it to Valentine’s day and the ones that did really shouldn’t have. Toki seemed semi-present, as good a start as he could ask for. Pickles— well that was going as good as you could expect. William and Stella either hadn’t started fighting yet or were taking a break from it. Skwisgaar sat with his guitar away from his mother, fervently practicing his fingering— _Oh god. I need to sit down… and get a drink._

Charles moved to the front of the bus to try and forget what he was remembering.

\---

Serveta went along with brunch. She did enjoy gossiping with the other moms. She’d had so few friends once she left the world of beauty pageants and models— and a lot of them barely counted. So she’d enjoy this time but at the next stop it was all business. She had vowed to get what she was owed from “Charles”. She hadn’t seen him since getting on the bus. He said he was going to stay there and work and to only call him if there was an emergency. 

\---

He said to only call if there was an emergency. He’d already gotten five calls about “where’s the bathroom”, “I wanted easy-over eggs but they gave me eggs that are all gooey in the middle”, “why can’t we get Dimmu Burger”, “Murderface just dunked his toast in a mimosa, make him stop” and “can we leave yet”. He put his phone on silent and focused on his laptop; there were klokateers on watch that would call him during any real emergency anyway. 

The mini golf-winery stop was going surprisingly smoothly. It seemed like having more distractions around and space for them to wander lowered the overall number of conflicts. 

\---

Drinking wine while trying to putt a ball in a hole took a lot of concentration. After a few holes on the course hardly anyone was concentrating on anything, which left Serveta free to observe the klokateers while slowly sipping her own wine. She noticed some klokateers at the edge of the course carrying a crate of wine; they had to be going back to the bus. If she could walk on with them her entry wouldn’t be announced. She glanced back to check on her golf party. Skwisgaar and Pickles were still trying to get the putter that Pickles threw out of the tree. Molly stood by watching and muttering something; she couldn’t understand Molly’s accent when she was drunk. Everyone else was at another hole, leaving her free to follow after the klokateers. 

She set her wine glass on the fiberglass deep-sea diver beside her and set off between the shrubbery. The klokateers had finished their task and were on their way back to the winery but stepped aside as Serveta climbed the steps of the bus. She took two steps into the bus— the klokateers slipped past her immediately— when she saw Charles sitting in one of the seats sipping his own glass of wine while reading something on his laptop. She didn’t even have to look for him!

“Hej!” She strode towards him and he looked up startled. “Youse ams owings me!”

“Uh,” he hesitated as she stood over him. “I ah, I’m not sure I follow?”

“Nows yous listins here littsle mans!” She wasn’t fucking around this time, they _were_ fucking this time. “Yous goings to haves sex wit’ mes nows ands wes will boths come. Dat’s nons-nesgoatchiables.”

Charles shut his laptop. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then,” he stood and downed the last of his wine, “but I have one proposal.”

\---

Charles was still over tired from yesterday and he was once again a bit tipsy. So when Serveta cornered him in the dethbus...

_In for a penny in for a pound._

Did he regret it? Yes. Was he going to regret this decision right now? Yes. But he’d already crossed the line, so if going all the way over meant a chance of never having to deal with this again he might as well. But he _absolutely refused_ to have sex on a bus. Bus sex never ended well.

He had a hotel room reserved before the private car he requested had even pulled around.

\---  
\--  
-

Skwisgaar had given up on the club, Pickles had already gone to get another one anyway. He turned to where his mother should have been and only saw an abandoned wine glass. Seeing this as an opportunity to leave this convoluted hell of a Valentine’s Day he made a beeline for the dethbus. Seriously, this day was like the superbowl for him. It was **primetime** for comforting windowed GMILFs and here he was stuck on a mini-golf course and stressed-out because he had to spend time with his _mother_. But she disappeared!

He could take a car home and play as many of his guitars as he wanted! He stopped. He’d walked about halfway down the stone pathway to the bus drop-off when he saw his mother… and Charles… getting in a car together?


End file.
